http://jupiteroatmeal.com Comics and Such By J. Lyons, Broadcasting from the 27 Inexplicable Moons of the Jovian Giant Fri, 31 Dec 2010 00:04:14 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en

Equipped with the Enchanted Wooden Sword of Shem and the Mystic Stick Horse of Sarnath the Great Fool rode forth to do battle. Usually with fence posts, small trees, and shrubberies. Now there will be a short break in postings for some undisclosed matter. See you again in a few weeks!]]> http://jupiteroatmeal.com/2010/11/jack-of-swords/

Prospectors crack me up. I can never shake the image of a guy who looks like Don Knotts with a massive amount of beard riding around on Mule. Which makes me think that it’s about time prospectors made a comeback. In some places today is known as ‘Thanksgiving’ or something of that cast. Diligent research has [...]]]> http://jupiteroatmeal.com/2010/11/jack-of-jewels/

Drunk surfing: getting seriously inebriated and going surfing or standing on a hobo’s back as he lays on a skateboard and roll down hill. You make the call.]]> http://jupiteroatmeal.com/2010/11/jack-of-cups/

I have a belief that rockets make everything cooler. Can’t seem to get that car to be less ugly? Just add a rocket and no one will even look at the three-tone primer paintjob. Unpopular at work/school or with potential partners? Get a rocket and watch the people flock to you. As noted above it [...]]]> http://jupiteroatmeal.com/2010/11/jack-of-torches/

Smart kids. Worse than smart missiles or bombs. The very reason that saying “sharp enough to cut yourself” even exists. I like to think I was a smart kid, otherwise I’m not sure where all these scars came from.]]> http://jupiteroatmeal.com/2010/11/page-of-swords/

I’ve only ever known a handful of children who have ever operated a lemonade stand – but my experience has led me to believe that the majority of those kids are insufferable pricks. Just an observation. I had a lemonade stand when I was nine. Soooo… I’m older now. Birthdays really have a way of sticking [...]]]> http://jupiteroatmeal.com/2010/11/page-of-jewels/

What does this even mean here? A fat kid playing with a beach ball in an inflatable pool? Seriously? Yes. It does mean something. I’m not allowed to tell you what – mainly because I don’t know. What I’ve learned is that these sorts of thing (tarot cards and stuff I mean) are, by design, as esoteric as a Chinese treasure map [...]]]> http://jupiteroatmeal.com/2010/11/page-of-cups/

We have now found ourselves amongst what, according to this handy reference book (i.e. the internet), are known as the Court Cards. I guess that is because they are representations of royalty. Or maybe something else. Perhaps because each suit has a king, queen, knight, and page. Apparently the king represents older men, the queen for [...]]]> http://jupiteroatmeal.com/2010/11/page-of-torches/

I hope you learned your lesson. The lesson we taught you by sticking sharp things in your guts. Don’t let it happen again. As as aside, do you think the coroner will have a problem identifying cause of death?]]> http://jupiteroatmeal.com/2010/11/ten-of-swords/

I’ve always enjoyed the concepts presented in cartoons of various characters swimming through money (both paper and coin) and or other items that are similarily unswimmable. It just seems like it would be fun. But probably painful.]]> http://jupiteroatmeal.com/2010/11/ten-of-jewels/