Equipped with the Enchanted Wooden Sword of Shem and the Mystic Stick Horse of Sarnath the Great Fool rode forth to do battle.

Usually with fence posts, small trees, and shrubberies.

Now there will be a short break in postings for some undisclosed matter. See you again in a few weeks!

Prospectors crack me up. I can never shake the image of a guy who looks like Don Knotts with a massive amount of beard riding around on Mule. Which makes me think that it’s about time prospectors made a comeback.

In some places today is known as ‘Thanksgiving’ or something of that cast. Diligent research has yielded that this is apparently a day for ‘giving thanks’. The nature of thanks is seemingly made vague on purpose. Sooooo… thanks? For… um… stuff? Like family/friends and stuff? And video games?

Drunk surfing: getting seriously inebriated and going surfing or standing on a hobo’s back as he lays on a skateboard and roll down hill.

You make the call.

I have a belief that rockets make everything cooler. Can’t seem to get that car to be less ugly? Just add a rocket and no one will even look at the three-tone primer paintjob. Unpopular at work/school or with potential partners? Get a rocket and watch the people flock to you.

As noted above it even works on Segways.

Smart kids. Worse than smart missiles or bombs. The very reason that saying “sharp enough to cut yourself” even exists.

I like to think I was a smart kid, otherwise I’m not sure where all these scars came from.

I’ve only ever known a handful of children who have ever operated a lemonade stand – but my experience has led me to believe that the majority of those kids are insufferable pricks. Just an observation.

I had a lemonade stand when I was nine.

Soooo… I’m older now. Birthdays really have a way of sticking it to a guy that way. Cake and celebration on a birthday make sense to me: “You’re one step closer to earning first hand experience as fertilizer. Here, have something sweet and baked by way of compensation.”

What does this even mean here? A fat kid playing with a beach ball in an inflatable pool? Seriously?

Yes. It does mean something. I’m not allowed to tell you what – mainly because I don’t know. What I’ve learned is that these sorts of thing (tarot cards and stuff I mean) are, by design, as esoteric as a Chinese treasure map written in ancient Egyptian discovered in a tomb in southern Brazil or something equally esoteric.

More than likely this one just symbolizes a fat kid. Probably in a pool. Perhaps even with a beach ball.

We have now found ourselves amongst what, according to this handy reference book (i.e. the internet), are known as the Court Cards. I guess that is because they are representations of royalty. Or maybe something else. Perhaps because each suit has a king, queen, knight, and page. Apparently the king represents older men, the queen for older women, the knight for a younger person, and a page for younger still(I guess knight and page are for both chaps and gals). But what does that mean for us? Nothing much. I’ll just be aiming in that rough direction.

At a start there is the first Page.

I love the old-timey image of kids pitching newspapers on street corners. As a bonus it has become nearly obsolete even for a cliche!

The issue is that I’ve probably watched Johny Dangerously way too many times.

I hope you learned your lesson.

The lesson we taught you by sticking sharp things in your guts.

Don’t let it happen again.

As as aside, do you think the coroner will have a problem identifying cause of death?

I’ve always enjoyed the concepts presented in cartoons of various characters swimming through money (both paper and coin) and or other items that are similarily unswimmable.

It just seems like it would be fun.

But probably painful.